I'm not sure what the Go-Bot folks were thinking when they came up with this concept. But, unfortunately, I received a bunch of these one Christmas. As robots, they could easily be played with.
But turn it into a rock, and all you could do was pretty much chuck it at your sister/enemies.
Now, the advertising was pretty darn cool. I actually believed that a hunk of rock could be an awesome combat fighter. Alas, I was wrong.
Remember the days before a couple hundred cable stations. Yep. Those were the cave man days alright. Or were they?
I present to you The Captain Power Powerjet XT-7.
We didn't have no fancy, dandy plasma screen televisions back in the day. But we did have TV shows that could interact with your toys. And the cool thing bout the Powerjet XT-7 was that you could rack up points shooting stuff on the Captain Power Television Show.
But beware. Get you rear kicked enough by the boob tube, and Captain Power gets ejected from his Powerjet.
I had no idea how in the world something on television could become tangent in the form of blowing my toys up. But dang if the Powerjet XT-7 didn't provide me with endless entertainment. Well, endless until the show got cancelled and my videotape wore out.
Gather round all and I will tell you a tale of absolute wonder. Back when I was but a little whipper-snapper we didn't have your fancy dandy portable video games that could fit in the palm of your hand. Oh no. We had fancy dandy portable video games that looked like this:
And Donkey Kong was my absolute favorite!!
My local convenient store had the arcade version right by the front door. And that game just called to me to buy lots of candy and spend my quarters in hours (okay, minutes) of bliss. So when I found out I could, in a way, take this game home with me, well it was a done deal.
Even with those ever so cute and cuddly Ewoks, Return of the Jedi had one of the greatest chase scenes in history: Speederbikes through Endor.
Sure I felt a little woozy in my stomach watching this on the big screen. And, yes, I regretted eating all that red licorice and pop corn. But, dang, this scene blew my young mind. But, then, I almost had a coronary when I came across this while perusing the shelves of my local toy store:
Whoa. You mean I can treat my living room like the Wookie's home planet? AND if I push the right button my speeder bike will blow up? How can I not purchase this?
And, let's admit it, the Biker Scout was one of the coolest Storm Troopers ever!!
Alas, with constantly blowing up my Speeder Bike, it finally fell apart. But fortunately George Lucas has never met a dollar he didn't like. And in 1997, I was reunited with a Speeder Bike COMPLETE with Biker Scout. Life was indeed good.
It is the Holy Grail of all things G.I. Joe. The one thing we wanted most but knew we would probably never get. I'm talking about the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier...the U.S.S. Flagg. Ask any kid of the 80's if they had this huge piece of fun, and they'll probably say: "No, but I knew a kid who did." At a hundred bucks, there was NO WAY my parents were going to get me this little slice of heaven.
I, however, was fortunate enough to know a kid who DID have the USS Flagg. And, fortunately, he lived right next door. So, he became my best friend for the next few years while I used him for his new toy. And this thing was loaded. Missiles. Guns. A microphone/speaker so you could also play drive-thru. And I believe it was 23 feet long.
Check this thing out. It's HUGE. It could easily be used as a condo for a family of four. And it could hold almost all of your G.I. Joe stuff. So, had a been a brighter kid, I would have pointed out to my parents that they would no longer be stepping all over my Snake-eyes and Destro if only they would buy me this one thing in life I've always longed for.
I suppose I could always go here to buy one. But the guy wants 12 Grand...Yeah, you heard me...12 GRAND!! I may have a little disposable income, but frankly, the chunk of change this chump wants could probably buy me a working aircraft carrier.
So for now, I'll just keep hoping to hit the lottery. Or, I'll just have to find some other rich kid who owns a USS Flagg.
Face it, this movie is one of the greatest of all times. Kid gets the crap beat out of him. Old man teaches him valuable lessons. Kid gets his revenge. It's a story as old as time itself.
Thus, when the Karate Kid action figures were revealed, I would now be able to experience the ways of Ka-Rah-Tay myself.
Before the ways of karate can be perfected, training must begin...at a cannery.
First, Daniel-san will break the ice, then he'll break your face.
I knew at a young age that I would never be an artist. But that never seemed to deter my parents from trying to fertilize any hint of talent I may have. Thus, the Lite Brite for Christmas...
I would spend hours in the dark, insterting brightly colored pegs into the black construction paper mounted on the front of my Lite Brite. And the best part: Lite Brites came with templates, so no matter how inept one was, he/she could create a work of bright, plastic art.
Never has a light bulb brought so much high culture to one's life. And, get this, you can now bring out that inner Dali at home or at work with the Virtual Lite Brite!!
Based on past experience, I've learned that Grandparents can fall on either end of the spectrum when it comes to Christmas presents. Come Christmas morn, I could either open a gift containing a new sweater, or I could be opening up:
My eyes did a Tex Avery moment, and then I got the shakes. Dear Lord. My grandparents had just gotten me a freaking Dinobot!!
The miraculous part was that I hadn't even asked them for one. Some sort of divine Providence led them to pick out this EXACT gift. And, so, for all I cared, they could give me a bounty of socks for the rest of my life.
I know. They've been called the K-Mart Transformer. But come on. With names like Leader One, Cy-Kill, and Loco, how can you go wrong with a Gobot. Plus, they were dirt cheap. So, even if they weren't as cool as Transformers, you could at least collect an army of them.
And look at this Gobot Command Center:
It looks like some sort of futuristic robot dog that could really kick some serious butt.
And lest we forget, Gobots was a cartoon. So that made them a necessity in my eyes.
Man, oh man, this toy rocked. I can't believe one AA battery could provide such bliss!! My Matchbox cars were no match for my Stompers. Line 'em up and roll, Stomper, roll. Thanks to the Stomper, the U.S. is the leader in SUV production!! Dang it, we NEED that 4-wheel power!!
I know COBRA is a terrorist organization bent on world destruction. But can't you see it in your heart to overlook this one teensy thing? I, mean, it's got freaking guns and torpedoes for crying out loud!!
I am a nerd. No, not the kind that can do your homework. And not the kind forced into giving up my milk money. Instead, I'm the kind of nerd fascinated with bad horror movies, toys, and cartoons. I don't know squat about playing D&D, but I can tell you all about its Saturday morning cartoon. Forget X-Box. I'm talking about the Atari 2600. If my wife rolls her eyes at it, you'll find it here. This is the perfect place to nerd-out without the Alpha Betas or my wife kicking my butt. So won't you join me?
