A Christmas Blast-off

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — NASA's soon-to-be-retired space shuttles are up for grabs.

The space agency said Wednesday it's looking for ideas on where and how best to display its space shuttles once they stop flying in a few years. It's put out a call to schools, science museums and "other appropriate organizations" that might be interested in showcasing one of the three remaining shuttles.

Beware: NASA estimates it will cost about $42 million to get each shuttle ready and get it where it needs to go, and the final tab could end up much more.

Is this not the greatest Christmas gift in the history of human kind? Star Wars...Awesome. Model Rockets...Cool. But a real live Space Shuttle?!! This is definitely going to the top of my Wish List on Amazon!!

But, if I can't get the real thing, I'll settle for this:

A Christmas Snarl

Based on past experience, I've learned that Grandparents can fall on either end of the spectrum when it comes to Christmas presents. Come Christmas morn, I could either open a gift containing a new sweater, or I could be opening up:

Snarl!!





My eyes did a Tex Avery moment, and then I got the shakes. Dear Lord. My grandparents had just gotten me a freaking Dinobot!!



The miraculous part was that I hadn't even asked them for one. Some sort of divine Providence led them to pick out this EXACT gift. And, so, for all I cared, they could give me a bounty of socks for the rest of my life.

A Fuzzy Christmas

With a promo like this, you know you're about to experience some serious Christmas entertainment. Not since Charles Dickens has a work of art so infused the true nature and wonder of the Holiday Season.

Alf was one lovable wise-guy. And this Christmas special does not dissapoint. It starts out with Alf singing about dead cats for crying out loud. And in the end, isn't that what Christmas is all about?

You can catch this episode in one swoop at Hulu.

Or you can break up it up by checking out these embeds:

More Christmas Time Fun!!

Growing up in the midwest, we didn't have your fancy-dandy high-end department stores. We had Zayre where you could get the latest Wrangler Jeans or Conair Product. And then after filling your red cart with bargains, you could head on over to the snack bar for a giant pretzel and a Coke.


Zayre was a veritable Shangri-La to us kids. It had aisles filled to the ceiling with toys. And at Christmas, they expanded the toy department with the latest in children's crack.



You'd be watching your favorite T.V. show's special Christmas episode, when, BAM!, a Zayre's ad would come on, thus reminding you of all the stuff you just had to have.




Yes, they were opened 24 Hours right before Christmas. Now I could wake my mom up at 3:00 AM and beg her to go out and get my loot!!

Terrifyingly Fun

In the world of kids, nothing beats a great playground. After all, isn't romping and frolicking what life is all about?

However, I think my heart would have burst with the evil blackness that resides in these playgrounds:


Yay!! Climbing around on giant, mutant killer wasps is fun!!


Mommy!! I want to see the killer croc with the ferocious teeth and various kitchen implements sticking out of his back!!


Wheee. The Dumbo ride at Eastern Euro Disney is better than I could ever have imagined!!


Murderous doctors are fun for the entire family!!

Head over to Darkroastedblend for even more diabolically fun playgrounds.

A Crimson Christmas

God Bless movies made on toys from my childhood. I'm not saying the new GI Joe movie coming out next year will be good, but it's forced Hasbro to start releasing "25th Anniversary" GI Joe toys.

And one of these nuggets is the Cobra Crimson Guard.




Let's face it. While Cobra is an evil entity that needs to be exterminated, they did have some uniforms that were unbelievably cool.




Imagine this guy coming at you from across the battlefield. I'd wet myself and renounce freedom in all its glorious splendor.



The best thing about these re-releases is that the packaging is almost identical to the original.




I love how the Crimson Guard is good at accounting. I'll remember that next April. I'm sure he's great at write-offs. Stolen booty?...Oh, yeah, that's deductible.

And Hasbro has gotten me salivating with this tid-bit:


Mwaaa-haha...More to come!!

Christmas Gold

I was a Hot Wheels fanatic. And it all started, I believe, during the Christmas of 1979 when I received an explosion of gold in the form of:

Gold Hot Wheels!!


These little pieces of metal joy came in a set, and I remember the Christmas tree lights blazing off of the perfect gold paint jobs.

There was:

Spoiler Sport


Hot Bird


Jaguar XJS


Corvette Stingray


Datsun ZWhiz


For years when I mentioned these beauties, my friends would look at me like I told them I once owned an invisible dragon named Herb. But I now have my vengeance. So suck on this!!

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

So, for years, one could actually name a star and give it as a Christmas gift. Now, I thought that was pretty cool until I learned this:

Purdue has a gift idea for you: Name a new species of bat
Center for the Environment's Species Naming and Conservation Initiative
Would you like to name a bat species for a family member or friend this holiday season, and help support important environmental research and conservation efforts?
Purdue University is offering the naming rights to a newly discovered species in honor of a donor to the Center for the Environment. This unique species is a rare family member of the little yellow bat, the smallest known bats in the New World. They weigh less than a tablespoon of water, and are sensitive environmental sentinels of their habitat.



This might just be the greatest gift one could ever give. Who wouldn't want to be associated with a terror-inducing creature named Mike?



In the spirit of Christmas, I beg my loved ones to name a bat after me.