It's no secret...I love toys. But, like a crotchety old man waiting for his back pain medication, I just don't think they make 'em like they used to. And, unfortunately, the world is full of toys that make me want to hide in a closet until they go away.
One of those toys: Bloonies.
Take a wad of toxic goo. Stuff it to the end of a thin plastic straw. Blow. And watch a magical LSD-inspired bubble appear right before your eyes.
As a kid, you could pick up this product up at any drug/grocery store for about a buck. A novel idea for a parent who just wants to get through their errand without their kid going into a roaring fit.
However, let's take a closer look at Bloonies. The package blatantly states: CAUTION: Flammable. Hmmmm. Won't be making any Bloonies while gathered around the old campfire, will we? And the smell...let's just say it dilates the eyes and rots the brain. It's amazing my generation accomplished anything besides sitting in a corner drooling or managing a Chipotle.
Ahhh, Bloonies. How I miss living on the edge.